Some Things Just Aren't Meant to Be

When my husband and I were in our early 30s, we were asked by his brother if we'd like to go canoeing down the Blue River. Heck, why not? We never did anything like that, and we needed to do more things together. So we packed up our 11-year-old son and took off. We left Carrie at home with a sitter--she said she was a wimp and didn't want to go.

So after an hour or so we arrived in Milltown and got signed up for the canoe trip. We decided on the seven-mile run, since we've never done this before...and for sure we didn't want to go on the 14-mile trip. The "launchers" loaded up our canoes, we jumped in their van and off we went. My son got a partner, so it was just going to be Leroy and me in the canoe.

At the launching site, the "launchers" put the canoes in the water and got everyone into the water. The couple ahead of us made it in the canoe, but when it came time to actually "go", they both leaned sideways in the same direction. They and their cooler ended up in the river. That was funny enough, right?



When it came our turn, I climbed in the rear of the canoe, facing downriver. When Leroy climbed in, he sat down facing me--and facing upriver! I looked at him and said, "I'm not turning around!". The launchers cracked up!

He finally got turned around and we were off...and at least we were still dry. We spent the next seven miles zig-zagging back and forth. For some reason, I just naturally paddle harder than Leroy--or could be he was holding his paddle sideways in the water. He kept griping at me because we weren't catching up to the others in our group. The way I saw it was...he should paddle harder to match my paddling--or hold his paddle correctly in the water.

Halfway through the trip, we found a landing. All of us "parked" the canoes and had a little picnic. After lunch, we climbed back in and began the last half of our journey. At least Leroy faced downriver this time! At the very end of the canoe trip, the water got pretty deep, and then flowed over some sort of concrete dam. You either got out or ended up over the dam. My sister-in-law was the first one out of the canoe. For some reason, my brother-in-law John couldn't wait ten more seconds to light up a cigarette. As he lit up, his wife (not noticing John's lack of attention) bent down and pulled the canoe farther onto dry land.

That was just enough to throw John overboard, lit cigarette and all. Luckily, he managed to make it back to shore, but wasn't too happy about getting soaked. We drove back home and were sore for days. But all in all, we had a pretty good time.

A few years later, we were asked to go canoeing again. Little did we know, this would be our last canoe trip. We launched ok. Nobody got thrown into the water. But early on in the trip, we still had issues with me paddling too hard, or Leroy paddling too soft. He started griping at me again. That did it.

I threw down my paddle in the bottom of the boat and folded my arms. I told Leroy, "Fine...YOU paddle". And paddle he did. I sat in the back of the boat like some Navaho chief, my arms crossed and a fierce look on my face. About every mile, Leroy would ask me to pick up my paddle. Nope......PLEASE pick up the paddle! Nope.....

He paddled the entire trip, with me still doing my "Sitting Bull" impersonation. After that, we realized that this is just one of those things we should not do together. In fact, I've come up with a list of things we will not even TRY to do together.

Repelling
Mountain climbing
Tandem bicycling
Pairs ice skating
Ballroom dancing
Trapeze
Bungee jumping
Parachuting
Snowboarding
Synchronized swimming
Curling
Eyebrow waxing

And here's one activity we CAN do together.