Things that Strike Me Funny...

I rarely laugh at jokes. Very few of them are funny enough to me to even earn a smirk. What I think is funny are life's little embarrassing moments, even when they're my own.

Some years back I had taken a job at a publishing company just to get off unemployment. We were forced to take a full hour for lunch, so every day I'd run to a fast-food restaurant rather than eat a sack lunch at an old kitchen table in the same room as a noisy printing press. I frequented Arby's much of the time, and always sat on a padded bench that ran the entire width of the place. When it was time to leave, I'd scoot on the bench until I was between tables, then unceremoniously get up, pick up my trash, throw it away, and go out the door. Simple, huh...

After six months of typing boring 4-H results and "what happened 25 years ago" (like anyone in Washington cared), I got a job in Jasper on an IT team. Before I conjured up lunch buddies, I still went to lunch by myself. One day I headed to the Jasper Arby's. It was set up just like the one in Washington...benches along the far width of the restaurant with tables.

I headed to the spot I usually occupied at an Arby's--the old dependable and comfortable bench. I really didn't notice the one big difference between the Washington Arby's and the Jasper Arby's--that is, the bench at Washington was one solid bench. At Jasper, they had benches--not one single bench. There was about two feet of space between benches.

I scooted in and started eating, noticing the place was empty except for me and a table with two ladies about 20 feet ahead of me. Once I consumed my roast beef, fries, and drink I loaded the trash onto the tray and scooted down the bench to the area between the tables.

Thinking I was on the solid bench, I scooted my big butt right into the space between the benches. Down I went. In a desperate attempt to not hit the floor, I grabbed for the table. And as pedestal tables do, it tipped. Due to the nature of gravity, everything on the table came sliding on top of me. I was trying to catch salt, pepper, trash, and the cheesy bud vase with the cheap silk flowers.

It worked. Although I was sitting on the floor, I did manage to keep everything from landing on my lap. I shoved everything back onto the table, stood up, and looked around to see who witnessed my clumsiness. The two ladies were still eating their lunch, oblivious to me...or that's what I thought.

When I walked past the two ladies, I heard snickering. I looked down to see both of them trying to stifle their laughter. All I could say was, "You saw that, didn't you?" The girls could hold it in no longer.  The snickers turned into full-fledged laughter.  And that's all it took to give me my laugh for the day.

...and I never forgot that the benches at those two Arby's were different from each other.