I motioned for my husband to come out, and as he did, he grabbed the wasp spray. I told him to put it away, and to get out there fast. He thought it was a cocoon of some sort. I had to tell him it was a bat. I grabbed my camera and snapped a few photos of him...macro, so I had to get really close.
The bat reminded me of one of those hilarious events that happened when my kids were small. We were at Mom and Dad's, sitting around in the family room--except for Dad. He liked to sit at the kitchen table, smoke his cigs, drink a beer, and watch the little portable TV. At one point, he looked up at the kitchen ceiling, and without missing a beat, he very dryly said, "Bird in the house, Ma...".
I ran into the kitchen, telling Dad not to hurt it. When I got close, it swooped past my head. It was a bat, and that's exactly what I yelled, "BAAATTTTT!". That set up a huge round of chaos. Everyone started running around. I went berserk. I kept picturing that bat being rabid and getting tangled up in my hair. I grabbed my two little hysterical kids and ran from room to room, with the bat right behind us. It never occurred to me to take the kids to a bedroom and simply shut the door!
My husband never moved from his couch-potato post on the sofa. Picture a houseful of screaming maniacs, and then Mr. Smooth not even flinching while in his reclining position. At one point Dad had a fly swatter and was whapping the poor little guy (the bat--not my husband), but he managed to escape Dad and continue his reign of terror on the family. Finally, the bat flew out the sliding glass door to the enclosed back porch. I hurried and shut the door, then locked it. At least he was out there where he couldn't get to us! And I was fairly sure he couldn't get through a locked door.
A minute later, a scream came from the other side of the sliding glass door. Mom had been out on the porch, unbeknownst to us! And since I locked the door, she couldn't get back in. I unlocked the door and Mom scooted in before the bat could fly back into the main part of the house. We were finally able to get the bat back outdoors by opening the outside door off the porch. Whew!
For the next few minutes, the house was still noisy--but this time with the sound of laughter. That would've been hilarious on video, but few people had video cameras back then. Later, my son told me that he never thought bats were real, because they turned into vampires...and vampires weren't real. So when he saw the bat, his thinking was that bats ARE real and this guy was going to turn into a vampire!
I just checked on the little guy, and he's still hanging from the deck soffiting. I hope he's not sick. It's starting to get dark, and he should be out looking for supper. Funny that a bat scared the life out of me 30 years ago, but not today. I must be getting brave in my old age.
4 comments:
You weren't protecting your children, you were screaming like a mad woman and I was trying to shut you up because I could see little Beej was getting the bejesus scared out of him.
And mom was the one whacking the crazy bat. I think she was the one with the fly swatter and she was hitting the thing like the crazed woman on the b.c. comic strips.
I think she and Dad finally "convinced" the bat out of the enclosed back porch with a broom.
I still remember you running to the couch potato, Beej screaming behind you and cp never even flinched, just continued his couch potato ways. He was likely as "sceared" as you were, but he's always been the "cool" one.
And I'll have to look back through your old posts, but I think you related the bat story one other time.
I remember it too, Rita, but the claims seem to remain substantially unchanged from both of you, so "there's nothing new here folks... move along".
But one thing is undeniable:
That Roy?
He COOL!
I still have a vision of that bat dropping vertically into a real life vampire standing in front of me!
Yeah, you probably wouldn't even remember the incident Beej except that your mother screaming hysterically was probably burned into your brain.
Post a Comment