Things that Strike Me Funny...

I rarely laugh at jokes. Very few of them are funny enough to me to even earn a smirk. What I think is funny are life's little embarrassing moments, even when they're my own.

Some years back I had taken a job at a publishing company just to get off unemployment. We were forced to take a full hour for lunch, so every day I'd run to a fast-food restaurant rather than eat a sack lunch at an old kitchen table in the same room as a noisy printing press. I frequented Arby's much of the time, and always sat on a padded bench that ran the entire width of the place. When it was time to leave, I'd scoot on the bench until I was between tables, then unceremoniously get up, pick up my trash, throw it away, and go out the door. Simple, huh...

After six months of typing boring 4-H results and "what happened 25 years ago" (like anyone in Washington cared), I got a job in Jasper on an IT team. Before I conjured up lunch buddies, I still went to lunch by myself. One day I headed to the Jasper Arby's. It was set up just like the one in Washington...benches along the far width of the restaurant with tables.

I headed to the spot I usually occupied at an Arby's--the old dependable and comfortable bench. I really didn't notice the one big difference between the Washington Arby's and the Jasper Arby's--that is, the bench at Washington was one solid bench. At Jasper, they had benches--not one single bench. There was about two feet of space between benches.

I scooted in and started eating, noticing the place was empty except for me and a table with two ladies about 20 feet ahead of me. Once I consumed my roast beef, fries, and drink I loaded the trash onto the tray and scooted down the bench to the area between the tables.

Thinking I was on the solid bench, I scooted my big butt right into the space between the benches. Down I went. In a desperate attempt to not hit the floor, I grabbed for the table. And as pedestal tables do, it tipped. Due to the nature of gravity, everything on the table came sliding on top of me. I was trying to catch salt, pepper, trash, and the cheesy bud vase with the cheap silk flowers.

It worked. Although I was sitting on the floor, I did manage to keep everything from landing on my lap. I shoved everything back onto the table, stood up, and looked around to see who witnessed my clumsiness. The two ladies were still eating their lunch, oblivious to me...or that's what I thought.

When I walked past the two ladies, I heard snickering. I looked down to see both of them trying to stifle their laughter. All I could say was, "You saw that, didn't you?" The girls could hold it in no longer.  The snickers turned into full-fledged laughter.  And that's all it took to give me my laugh for the day.

...and I never forgot that the benches at those two Arby's were different from each other.

All I Want for Christmas...

A few years back whenever someone would ask me what I wanted for Christmas, I'd always say, "You can't buy what I want for Christmas"...funny thing was, nobody ever asked me what that one thing was. Maybe they knew. All I wanted for Christmas was to have my Dad back.

I guess I've gotten used to him being gone, but I won't quit missing him--ever. I suppose I'll be back with him soon enough. Time goes mighty fast these days.

This year I have two Christmas dreams coming true. I've wanted to be a grandma for a long time. I finally saw that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, and after 9/11, I was fine with it. I didn't want any more kids brought into a world that has people on it that can do something so despicable. Too scary. Too awful.

But God had a big plan for our family. There were two reasons I never became a grandma. God saw that two little girls--sisters--were living a life far less than perfect. He needed to rescue these two; and a year ago, He found a home that had plenty of room for romping and giggles. That home belongs to my daughter and son-in-law.

Wednesday the State of Indiana will declare my daughter and son-in-law the parents of these two sweethearts. Our hearts declared that a year ago--we just had to wait for the paperwork to catch up.

Welcome to our family, Stasey Renee and Kaylee Rose! You've completed our lives!

Love,
Your Grandma

Thanksgiving (or "Thank Heaven for Little Girls")

My first Thanksgiving as a grandma. For some reason, the song "Over the River and Thru the Woods" comes to mind. It's my favorite holiday--all the food there is to eat with none of that gift-giving getting in the way of eating. The day started a little sunny, which just isn't a typical Thanksgiving day in Indiana. But before we ate at 12:30, the skies were gray and the windows steamed up from all the cooking and baking. Perfect. Just like Granny C's Thanksgivings, where we'd arrive to find noodles drying on a TV tray on the screened porch, and the windows all steamy from the morning of cooking. It was always gray and dreary outside, which made for a wonderful entrance into Granny's warm, aromatic home.

We had all the traditional food...turkey, dressing, Rita's homemade noodles, two kinds of sweet potatoes, real mashed potatoes with giblet gravy, Waldorf salad, cranberry relish, garden corn, and rolls. I made my famous pumpkin pies and peanut butter pies for dessert. The entire family was there, except for my husband who was joining his family. Mark said "Grace" and added his usual prayer for our troops.

The granddaughters enjoyed their first Thanksgiving with their new family. The youngest thinks nobody compares to Uncle Bobby, and the oldest has a special bond with Aunt Rita. But if you ask them whose girl they are, invariably they'll say they're everyone's girls. Such sweethearts. I can't imagine how hard their young lives had been up until the time they arrived at my daughter and son-in-law's. I can't imagine how children can be so resilient. Sure, there are times in everyone's childhood when things aren't what they should be. A little of that is fine--it teaches you that life is what it is--a mixture of good and bad. But it shouldn't be all bad.

So this past Thanksgiving for the first time ever...I thanked God for steering these precious girls our way.