BINGO!!!!

I've made a fool of myself on several occasions, but luckily have nearly always been able to laugh at myself. I can do that when among people I know, but when it happens in front of strangers, that's a different story. Here are the medal-winners, and they all happened on the same day, same place.

Before I worked at Kimball with my husband, I would always attend the company picnics at the fairgrounds. The food was good, the prizes were worth the trip, and there were activities for everyone. My husband always had to work at one of the booths after lunch, and the kids would play the various carnival games. But me? I hated roaming around trying to look like I belonged.

But one year was especially bad. The lunch buildings were always crowded, but we got there early and stood in line, then sat down. Leroy's a fast eater; I'm a slow eater. He wolfed down his food in five minutes and I had barely started. Then he said, "People are waiting for a table". Then he signaled to a man looking for a seat. I started to ask him to please sit and let me finish, but he was gone in a flash. In his place was a complete stranger, one of a thousand more. Embarrassing, to say the least.

I was hurt that some stranger looking for a seat was more important to my husband than sitting with me for a few more minutes, so I picked up my food and pitched it in the trash on my way out. After roaming around an hour, I decided to try my hand at Jarts. Even though my softball pitching sucks, I could at least come halfway close at Jarts and I didn't have to worry about hitting someone with the Jart if I should have an errant throw...or so I thought.

I stood in line and waited my turn. There was a large crowd waiting to play and many others just watching. The first Jart landed fairly close to the target. Not too bad. The second one was a little closer. Then I made the mistake of picking up the third Jart. It wasn't until I released the Jart that I noticed it was extremely sticky--no doubt the work of some little mongrel fresh out of the cotton candy booth. Because it was sticky, the Jart didn't release from my hand until a split-second too late. And because I was taught to "follow through", the Jart released directly above my head!

It went straight up and of course due to the law of gravity--straight down again and headed for me. I had to duck and run for cover! The crowd roared. That was the second embarrassment of the day.

Number three at the same company picnic.

I decided to pass the time playing Bingo. I could win $5 for a regular Bingo, $20 for a coverall. I headed back to the lunch building, which was transformed into a Bingo hall after the eatin' was done. I took a card and a seat. In just a few minutes, I had a Bingo. A thousand people in that place and I bingoed--what luck! I yelled the obligatory "BINGO!". The caller bellered, "HOLD YOUR CARDS!....Ma'am, this is a coverall". A thousand people turned to glare at me for interrupting their game. That was bad enough.

About fifteen minutes later, I had another Bingo. Again, I yelled "BINGO!" Only this time, those one-thousand people gave a collective groan. Ever hear a thousand people groan in unison? It's pretty darned loud. Again, the announcer admonished me. This time I left, much to the amusement of the crowd. At least now being a stranger came in handy. Nobody knew me. Nobody recognized me--except for Karl, one of Leroy's co-workers.

To this day, over twenty years later, I can be at the local grocery or Wal-Mart and hear someone holler "BINGO!". And I know it's that crazy Karl, who is now my mom's next-door neighbor. Over the years, the Bingo story has become funny to me; even to the point where I am the one that yells "BINGO!" to let Karl know I saw him first!