Mom just wasn't the type to be able to comfortably tell us about the birds and the bees, so she just never did. Sooner or later we all learned, probably from our friends. When Mike and Mark were young teens, Mike still didn't know the facts of life--and he was the older brother. Mark, being the more "worldly" one of the two, decided to enlighten Mike about the mechanics of men and women, and what all that equipment was for.
Mike said, "Oh, that's just a rumor somebody started at school."!
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What do the above two objects have to do with each other? Can't figure it out? Neither could I. I was ten at the time, and being the oldest and a girl, Mom thought it was her duty to tell me about the birds and bees. One night she kept me up after the other three kids were sent to bed. I could tell she was nervous, but didn't have a clue why.
She began by saying something about Jesus Christ, and then moved on to light sockets. She held up two fingers on one hand and then inserted them into her other hand--you know, in an kind of obscene gesture! And then she moved on to Jesus Christ again. I thought the woman had lost her mind. After about ten minutes of "Jesus and light sockets" and my puzzled looks, she gave up and told me to go to bed.
Six months later, she decided to try again. When she started with the Jesus Christ and light sockets speech again, I let her off the hook. Since the first speech, I had figured it out for myself and told her that. I'll never forget her reaction. She put the palm of her hand to her forehead and said, "Oh Thank God!".
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I think I was nine when I read outloud in the car a four letter word that someone had spraypainted on a car.
Mom told me not to say that word. Robin P. was in the car with us.
A few days later, Robin and Jeannie told me the facts of life. I was so embarassed and was dreading the day when Mom would tell me.
I cannot tell you how many years I spent worrying about Mom telling me something that was already told to me. I dreaded it for years and years.
I still wonder now and then when she's planning the "Big Talk". I hope she does soon since my grandson will be 7 in a couple weeks and he might ask me.
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